1000

My winter clothes are gone. My puffy coat has a new home in the bottom of my pack. My food bag and confidence is growing and my body is deteriorating.

Reaching 1000 miles, the psychological halfway point in Harper’s Ferry and the actual midway point have all come so fast.

When I started the trail, I wanted to see how far I could go. I had faith I could make it this far, but if I’m being honest, I had a lot of doubt that these size 6 feet would carry me this far.

It’s been a long and short road. It seems like ages ago I was leaving the bus station in Indy, wondering what I’d gotten myself into. But, it doesn’t seem so long ago I was held up in a hotel for three days waiting out the weather and eating one of everything from Taco Bell.

1000 miles. Whoa.

When I say it out loud it’s just a number, but when I think about all the hard days, bad weather, aching body and attitude adjustments, it feels like 1000 miles. When I’m standing at the bottom of a steep mountain, wondering how I’m going to pull myself up or glare down a rocky descent and wonder how I’m going to throw myself down-it feels like 1000 miles. When I think about the pain that circulates around my body- it feels like, well, 4000 miles.

But, when I think about 1000 miles finished, it also makes me a little sad. The end is drawing closer with each mile that passes. Some days I’m ready to be done with hiking for the day, but the reality of leaving the trail for good, makes me want to slow down and enjoy the time I have left out here.

I’ve noticed people are now asking when I expect to be done with the trail. My fellow hikers have an answer. I don’t. I haven’t sat down and calculated it. Mostly, I don’t want to know how close I am to being finished. I literally take one day at a time, one mini-goal at a time, and one hour at a time. I want this journey to last.

1000: It’s just a number, but those steps- those strides towards change, each of them become so significant. Each day, those miles have snowballed into something unimaginable that’s hard to comprehend and hard to explain.

I’m finding so much while walking this long path: my confidence, my strength, my deep belly-hurting laugh, my careless off-key singing voice and my undisputed original dance moves. Most importantly, my true self. I never want that feeling to end.

I suppose I’ll keep heading North.