When the Going Gets Tough

For the majority of the trail I’ve hiked alone during the day then met back up with the gang in the evenings. We’d catch up on the days events and I’d get my human interaction fill for the day. Now that we’re all split up and running into larger groups of flip-floppers, I was feeling the need to get away from the hoards of people at night, but felt lonely while hiking alone during the day. I know how it sounds: pay attention to me during the day, but leave me alone at night.

One day in particular I was feeling extra lonely. I’d somehow got turned around and was heading south instead of north. I’d never felt so insane in my life. I had no idea how I’d done it and the shock of running into people behind me, made me feel drained and like a big fat failure.

You know the saying: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going?” Ya…It should be: “When the going gets tough, the tough cry in the woods for 20 minutes, then get going.”

I grumbled through tears: “I suck at hiking the AT. Why am I doing this? I’m slow. Everyone is faster than me. I hate that my name is Zoom Zoom and everyone thinks I should be fast, but I’m not. I’m not! I can’t even go in the right direction. And why haven’t I seen a bear? Everyone else has seen a bear. I just want to see one freakin’ bear! Arrrrghhh!” (Ok, so the bear thing was an irrational addition to my frustration.)

The picture perfect outcome to this story would be that I immediately turned my attitude around. Haha! No. That one incident set me on a course of unreasonable attitudes. The next day, I hiked out in the rain-the pouring rain, determined that I wouldn’t let yesterday change how I felt today. Well, that didn’t last long. I was cold, wet, angry at myself, lonely and hated the trail. I needed a break. I needed to spread out in a hotel room with no tv blaring, no commotion or conversation and just have peace and space to myself. And food. Lots of face-shoveling food. So that’s what I did.

After that evening of rest and solitude I decided I needed to be on the trail alone for a while, even if that meant separating from my friends. I’d come to the trail alone and had lost sight of why I was here. It was easy to get caught up in the community of familiar faces, which I loved, but this journey is about spreading my wings and experiencing the trail.

Now that I was hiking the trail more independently, I was having a whole different experience.

I talked to strangers. Me, the shy girl that gets anxious to meet new people, was seeking conversation with strangers. People approached me and asked about my journey. I talked to day hikers so long that they would start to back away from me.

This experience has allowed me to meet so many different people that I’d normally walk past. Not just the basics of their name or where they’re from, but deep- I’ve known you for years- here are all my life secrets kind of conversations.

When you’re alone, you make time for those people. You actually hear them. These strangers turned into friends in a matter of minutes and helped turn this trip around for me. They’d ask me about my journey and as I spoke about it, I heard the excitement in my own voice.

Yes, I’m the slowest person named Zoom Zoom you’ll ever meet. No, I haven’t met a bear face to face. But, I’ve learned the faster you slow down, whether on trail or in life, the more enjoyable the experience as a whole will be.